Delpdowns: The Legacy of the Burns Flat CPC

 

DelpDowns

This part is difficult for me, not because these things have become imbedded in the culture of this body, but because of my directions from God’s word.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs.

Some reconstruction of attitudes and events was required, thinking that I had no further use for the memory, just the lessons and actions required of me.

I also think about just being wronged. I don’t want vindication. I want to leave this assignment, knowing that I have not left an ambush for whomever is next, including you.

Our current situation requires me to reconstruct the past decade-plus. How’s my memory?

If you have ever faced danger or had to make life-defining decisions in the moment, those moments are etched with clarity and precision, though I've successfully kept them from being recounted. Until now, that is, that some unilateral action on my part is required by duty and conscience.

What was put behind me has been recalled; recounting what transpired in the course of a season of gaslighting and ad hominem forays launched from the land of Delpology came with clarity.

DelpDown #1. Satan glorified in the sanctuary. I am thankful many may have been too young or not yet with us to witness this, but it is germane to what is in play in this body and its leadership.

Early in my ministry here (called as stated supply but not yet ordained, Rick Ellis offered to do the children’s sermon. He wanted to know if he could use my robe. I said that he could but not to use the stole, which is often considered a symbol of ordination. Yes, I already had one in my office, believing that God would complete what he had begun with me.

His sermon was something of a watch-out-for-wolves-in-sheep’s-clothing message, with Satan being the one to watch out for.  In my time at the Burns Flat CPC as a member and elder, I had heard Phil talk many times about not wanting to mention Satan during worship.

Rick didn’t really have the skill set for this particular children’s message. Of the things that I know of Rick, I would not affirm the spiritual gift of a teacher of children in him. He used repetition a lot, but within some reasonableness.

At some point it hit the tipping point in Delpology. Junior and Phil walked out. Jimmie joined them moments afterward. I don’t think Jimmie had received his MDiv in Delpology yet. He looked perplexed but joined his father and brother.

This was irreverent and disruptive. It glorified Satan. If the servant of the Lord Most High would not take a knee before Delpology, the servants of Satan would make a visible protest. The Delps had accomplished what they said they didn’t like by their very overt, very dramatic actions.

While the Delps departed, I had been listening intently to Rick, not for teaching skills, but for biblical fidelity. I heard nothing contrary to the word of God.

Some days later, Phil came to see me and wanted to know what he was to do. That was encouraging.

We don’t do rosary beads, Hail Marys, or the cleansing of the sanctuary for blasphemy (though we are not prohibited in this area).

As far as addressing the congregation, there was no way that I was going to give a servant of Satan a second bite at the disruption and chaos apple.

I prayed this episode was just a lost battle to sinful human nature, but my readiness level remained high any time Phil would speak to the congregation.

 I would rehabilitate this body by doing what I knew to do.

Eyes fixed on Jesus.

Known by our love.

Take the good news to the world.

And of course, some Proverbs 3:5-6 and the Parable of the Talents.

I would be ever wary of what Phil had to say for the remainder of my days here. This experience was one of two defining moments early in my pastoral time here.

DelpDown #2. The first pay cut. In the latter part of the first decade of this century, we had the fear-governed elder retreat.

Before the meeting, Junior darted into my office, slapped a paper on my desk, and said my pay was too much for a preacher (something in the thirty thousand range), that it was going back to what it was when I started, then darted out the door. I had never seen Junior move so fast on the way out. There was no discussion, just swoop in, dump his load of crap, be on his way. Seagull management is the term.

When we did the budget at the meeting, Junior led the charge, telling the other elders what the line item would be, and I’ve already told him.  A couple of other elders asked me if that was okay.

I said if I were in this for the money, I wouldn’t be here.

The economy was struggling, but nobody here had taken big financial hits yet. People did what they always did when things changed. They adjusted, but this time Delp-led fear governed in advance of what was anticipated.

This was the first time I introduced the Bible as adult curriculum. It surfaced in the context of this money-saving track we seemed to be on, though I had wanted this for a while.  Junior exploded that we can’t do that. No explanation, just total resistance without explanation.

DelpDown #3 (across several months, maybe a couple of years). Adult curriculum. Paula Miller had sent an email asking if we could consider other adult curriculum for Sunday school.

I replied to the email sent to many that I was excited to see people interested in exploring this instead of just accepting the status quo.

Junior was back in my office the next Sunday morning, holding up a printed paper (it looked like the email) and asking, "What is this?"

I said, “That is interest in our education as Christians.”

Junior went to meltdown mode. His face and his stomping about were the leading indicators.

I told Junior he might want to take a breath and compose himself before returning to class.

That intensified the meltdown.

Sometime later, the topic came up elsewhere and prompted Junior to come see me. He told me that this was his coffee shop discussion topic. For twenty bucks, he could have paid one of his discussion buddies to order a teacher’s copy for the year with their church order.

He didn’t melt down but just stared at me like I was clueless.

I did not venture into the discussion about using church funds for private gain. That was a bridge too far.

DelpDown #4. Cavalier Consideration and manipulation. Income had picked up quite a bit. The session decided to increase my pay to $50000. That was a nice bump especially after the thus saith Junior experience, and within what we forecast for offering based on current trends.

Phil divided the number by 12 and got $4166.66 and said that’s too many sixes.  So he took a few thousand off and got a number he could live with.

Taking off $100 would have eliminated all the sixes at a monthly contract fee of $4158.33.

While I was happy with what I received and would have been content with any number, including no increase, I don’t think the sixes were the real issue.

In the Delp world, the pittance that we paid Jim Fisk was more than enough for a preacher.

I accepted whatever the final number was but was disappointed at the capricious nature with which the matter was decided and the obvious Delp perception that I couldn’t do math or wouldn’t dare once the Delp’s had spoken.

I dealt with the cavalier approach as I had done with my first pay cut. This time I bought 2 goats and 4 chickens from World Vision to remind myself how blessed I was (still am). That’s all I needed to deal with any pettiness on my part and get back in my race.

DelpDown #5. How much is enough? Through the years, I had pushed to have the session act as a finance committee several times, usually two or three months before the retreats. If adjustments were needed, including a cut in my contract fee, a small meeting among those most current on the church finances would be the most effective way to explore and prioritize possible courses of action.

Phil’s resistance to this deliberate approach and attachment to the surface-level once-over at the retreat is consistent to this date. Discussion discounts deception and gives it little purchase when propositions are explored.

Even the fly-by discussion of my contract consideration was truncated. When I asked the session to consider their promise to review this once a year, it was received with some consternation.  Every ordained elder present at my ordination and installation made that commitment. At the session meeting (retreat) it was agreed to do the review (that whole let your yes be yes thing).

Those who came aboard after that time did not make this promise. Those who were were present were expected to pass this on in their handover of duties to their successors.

I don’t think that occurred much, but I noticed that the apprehension to do this was much less with new elders in spite of not being ordained or present at the time of my installation.

So, after a review of my contract, I think most could read Phil’s apprehension), I received a COLA generally consistent with the government’s assessment of the cost of living.

A true assessment could have included a reduction, no change, or another level/process of increase. It could have included a variety of options not available within the fear-based approach.

DelpDown #6. How much is enough?!?

A few days before a somewhat terse dialogue between Phil and me at a session meeting, Phil said he needed to talk to me in love. It was about my pay.

 I said, “Finally!”

After hearing him, I responded.

Speaking the truth in love isn't so much about telling the guy who needs rent money to get a job, but about the growth and maturity within the believer to have a genuine conversation without fear, condemnation, or the need to be right. Let’s explore this as believers who have taken the yoke of our Master. It’s the not-about-us sort of stuff.

Phil was very emotional. I think he wanted the Seagull style that I had seen repeatedly in his father. Here’s what I have to say. That’s it.

A response from me triggered something. He blurted out, “How much is enough!”

I told Phil that I had never asked for a raise. Why are you asking me? The session should decide what the right amount is. Yes, I could concur or not, but since my first pay cut (DelpDown #2), I've clearly said I wouldn't be here if it were about money.

I didn’t give Phil an answer. He was in full meltdown mode.

But I owe you an answer!

I have no upward limit. I might have read the Parable of the Talents more than once. I was ready to put whatever God gave me through the session to work without delay

In the same vein, I discovered I could do the same with the smallest amounts. I didn’t know this until my expenses exceeded my income the first two years, and occasionally thereafter.

Any other response is to belie what the Lord has taught me through the parable and the full biblical witness.

I asked for a little grace and already had a means to make that short of a burden: Lead time.

I have adjusted my personal budget many times not to survive with what I had but to thrive with it, whether it was more or less.

I learned this from my experience in the Corps. Money falls into place where passion and purpose are in play in your calling.

How much easier is this for the second major calling upon my life. By the way, this calling is so much greater than the first that every personal pity party that I thought might be coming on was never allowed to enter the perimeter. A goat and two chickens are my concertina and claymores. I have my bayonet fixed but not bloody.  These thoughts that might cause me to lose focus have not breached the perimeter. I’m running out of opportunities to share my Marine Corps lexicon with you. A little levity might be in order at this point.

Better answer: No weapon formed against me shall prevail.

DelpDown #6. Financial Report in aggregate. Three times, I have broached the subject of the financial report's fidelity with Phil over the years.

His response has always been immediate. Do you want to do it?!?

I prefer to do what God called me to do and not what Phil said his calling.

At one point, Phil had made a small change to the report. He wanted to show me something. It was a puppy-to-small-dog change.

Unprompted, he asked if there was anything else he should look at.

I chose to approach this incrementally.  I said that he might want to change the spelling of expence to expense. It was just a spelling thing, I thought. That hit a nerve!

He blurted out, “You make mistakes on the bulletin all the time.” Wow! I don’t get caught off guard too often, but I didn’t see that coming. The landmines were in the area of fidelity of the report, or so I thought.

Not wanting to escalate the situation, I calmly replied, “And I love an editor, especially before the last copy comes off the printer.”

I may be (hope I am) wrong about this, but that little syntax incident prompted me to consider ever so briefly that Phil might consider Spence synonymous with expense. Phil changed his spelling a few months later.

On another occasion, perhaps two, Phil was explaining something, and I suggested that he label it on the report. I said that, as much as possible, a report should anticipate questions and answer them.

He said that if people want to know, they can ask.

This was surely just a philosophical difference, but I hope you'll consider it going forward when you write reports.

Who is the primary target audience for our financial report? It’s not Presbytery or General Assembly. It is the people who gave without reservation or under compulsion.

It is those cheerful givers who trust the elders of the church to use their gifts and talents to further the work of God’s kingdom. The report is primarily for those who trust us the most. They trusted us when they returned a portion of what God had blessed them with to his church.

They can ask sits contrary to my servant nature and reeks of being sanctimonious.

I did one more self-check and did what Phil had rebuked me with earlier (Do you want to do it!).

I didn’t put actual numbers in a report but made a report that allows for transfer of funds without using the income lines.  Charge and credit where money is returned to the line it was charged against, and even used the spreadsheet functions to make the report preparer-friendly. It’s basic but eliminated the lack of fidelity that still haunts the integrity of this session.

Phil could have done the same thing (sans spreadsheet functions) in the same ten minutes ten years ago. But here we are.

Pending DelpDown. The unlabeled number in the lower right part of the Financial Report of something just under $71K has been there for months.

It is unlabeled, despite my previous requests to make reports as standalone as possible. I suspect it’s Phil’s track on what it has cost you to pay me for the continuous raises that I have requested, at least in his mind. This would be a cavalier and irresponsible guess were it not for what preceded it.

Before my second pay cut of just under eleven percent, Phil presented you with his records of my pay for the past two or three years.  There was no mention of doors, HVAC, doors, doors, HVAC. His only focus was my pay.

So while I don’t know the number, my guess is it is to show you what you spent/wasted or otherwise dispersed to pay me. I expect him to reveal this to you after I leave.

My gut (sinful human heart) prompted a counter to this tracking, if that’s what it is.  I suggest that somewhere near the mystery number, the number $73K be listed. That is my thirty-thousand-foot fly-over estimate of what we would still have after transferring money as we did, but investing the various surpluses we had over the years into CDs. The rates varied, and I didn't track this as we went, but without a year-to-year review of balances and rates, this back-of-the-napkin estimate should be pretty close and deserved no more of my time as nothing could be changed about the past.

I never broached this with Phil. I had hoped that the Delpdowns would slow down once I announced that I would not ask you to consider renewing my contract after 31 December 2026.

 I wasn’t going to launch the next DelpDown by asking Phil about this mystery number. We have too much to do to be distracted in the days remaining in this relationship. It’s been over a year since I gave the session a POA&M for a smooth turnover.  There was plenty of time to make this a viable turnover, but no time was allocated for any more frivolous forays into emotional meltdowns.

I will get under your skin now. I was disappointed that the session continued to approve reports with information that nobody knew what it was, but was willing to vote without explanation.

You witnessed Phil’s explanations of moving money into offering lines to reach the desired balance instead of using more accepted practices. I have seen Phil’s emotional attachment to his report manifested more than most. I can’t venture further into the ersatz nature of the report without entering into a discussion of Phil’s EQ?

Why cling to this convoluted form when it was dysfunctional? I expected you to have the eyes to see this without the burden of the emotions attached.

The alternative, and I have prayed that I am wrong, is that you did know and just kept this from the congregation and me. I don’t believe that's the case, but going forward, I will not be here, and your next pastor should not be saddled with a burden that should primarily fall on the elected elders.

Know what you are approving going forward. Back to the DelpDown business.

DelpDown History. I saw this with Jim Fisk. We paid him about $19K per year. That’s a little less than working a 40-hour week as a McDonald's employee, though the kid messing up your order has a couple of perks with his pittance.

That’s what I was paid as a boot lieutenant in 1979. I had medical, dental, and a retirement plan if I continued living my passion and purpose, at least until God called me to something more. 

Jim initiated what resulted in our revitalization program. We got some financial help that could be used for his pay. We had no contract in place, but we acted as if we did. I’m not sure how much went to Jim, but this was a one-time thing, not recurring income.

During this time, we purchased the van. Junior said to me, “Watch how quickly we pay this off.”

Most of the time, paying off debt early is a good thing, but doing it while leaving Jim’s pay the same seemed a little heartless.

In the final session meeting with Jim, his pay was still pitiful. We were looking at getting a new building.

Jim said he felt like we wanted a pastor or a building. I asked Jim if we could look at other factors for compensation. He had proffered taking a small paycut and going back to teaching. Essentially, he would be a tentmaker with a small stipend from the congregation.

I was about to look at other things when Junior jumped all over Jim with something along the lines of this is what we’ve got to give you. That was the end of the discussion in his mind. Junior was in meltdown mode.

Jim had other factors going on with health and home life, but Junior's attack was the tipping point. Jim was gone. This was beyond rehabilitation. A Delp had spoken.

The last thing he needed was to be at war with the Delps. He resigned.

Phil often related the story of how he hated a man until he started praying for him. He shared with the session that he had been hating me, but said that he realized what I was doing was to get our butts in gear.

It surely didn’t get us moving on matters of integrity and fidelity.  I see the hate has returned.

I don’t need sympathy. I am all in on God’s grace is enough, and no weapon formed against me shall prevail.

But it seems this hate is stopping the simple things that would fix our integrity issues.

When Duawn was here, Junior stepped down as treasurer. Duawn asked Phil if he wanted to take over from his father.

Before I could say anything (no, I didn’t want the job), Phil said yes.

When a man says yes that quickly, he is prepared and feels called to do it, acts impulsively, or has ulterior motives (control, personal gain, power). Believing the first, I did not offer my input. 

The treasurer’s position often comes with burdens unknown to the other elders. I thought we should give Phil time to pray about it, but Phil was all in.

Knowing what people give or don’t give can be a bigger burden than most want to handle. I had wanted to ask that we pray and consider this vacancy, but would not get in the way of Phil’s prompt response.

My concern for you going forward is that much of this Delp intimidation is in play with you.

I think that I am the first pastor (perhaps person) to assertively counter Junior since he was a kid.

In fairness to you, I did not grow up here, and whatever family, work, and other dynamics were in play were not ingrained in me. You (or others) will have to contend with them going forward.

I hoped and prayed that all of this was just human frailty, the sinful nature that we wrestle with, and not an acceptance of Satanic influence that would be as acceptable as the loyal opposition found in the predecessors of our national political processes.

I hope this is something in the realm of emotional intelligence, where mitigation strategies may apply. I did this with inmates, but they realized that their efficacy (yes, I inflicted this term upon them) hung in the balance, and that included their geography. They had selfish motivations, but those of us who have committed to pick up our cross daily should be able to do this selflessly.

 You have an additional duty here. Phil is the treasurer and must be absolutely trustworthy. This is an issue of the fidelity of the financial report and some manipulation of my paycheck and reimbursements for personal funds that I expended as Fund Administrator. The former is the only oversight duty that you incur in the immediate future.

I saw Phil’s manipulative tactics early and have adjusted my personal financial flexibility and strategy for dealing with his failure to respect the contractual agreement in my consideration. The latter being the greater risk but the easiest to address in terms of effort. I would just throw Phil under the IRS bus as lazy and irresponsible if the IRS sought an audit (unlikely, but it was a strategy needed to continue in this vulnerable status).

I suggest that if Phil continues as treasurer, you remove the contract option for the pastor. Both parties must reach a meeting of the minds, and neither party should have an advantage to manipulate the agreement.

I suggest your next pastor not serve as a fund administrator for anything, so he or she not vulnerable to manipulation by Phil.

In all of this mess, I must give thanks to God. In this cacophony of Phil’s desire to seek the lowest level of effort in a high calling, God has been showing me what is next for me, and it is good.

I hope that the session does not merely survive this, but that fidelity and integrity receive the focus they deserve as you work on what lies ahead, working for the Lord and not for men.

That said, I will do my duty even if it belies the desire of my heart.

Postscript. I thought that my truncated explanation of concerns at my last Session Meeting (21 December 2025) would alleviate the matter. The session did not want to correct previous reports but agreed to make corrections going forward. Unfortunately, the report has not been posted for all of 2026, and apparently the session is fine with this.

Offering checks are not deposited in a timely manner. The delay is such that any future offering will be done online, and no, I am not paying the transaction fees because Phil is lazy.

This accounting was intended for my own review so that I might reduce it to something manageable at the 21 December 2025 meeting. I did, and the session agreed to faithfulness in financial reporting going forward. I never envisioned that the session would not make the financial accounting readily available to those who gave, trusting in the faithfulness of their elected leadership.

But here we are.

Gaslighting

 

Gaslighting

Sadly, this begins and ends with Phil projecting his thoughts as mine on the topic of pastor compensation and money. There have been forays through emotion and manipulation, varied levels of risk tolerance, faith fear, and some cowardice have seasoned this decade-plus of assigning me my thoughts and attitudes so they may be more easily countered.  I pray this has been rooted in a low EQ and not evil, though I cannot dismiss the latter.

I am not looking for vindication. I abide in the same counsel that I deliver to you.  This is not about me, but over the last few years, the frivolous and dilatory nature of his actions has brought us to this moment of Brinkmanship.

When I accepted the session’s call to pastor, the session and I agreed to an annual contract fee of $37,000.  This was a little less than we paid Duawn in monetary compensation and ten to twelve thousand less than we gave him in total remuneration. I would serve as an independent contractor. This was less than half of my salary as an executive for the newspaper, that is by monetary metrics alone. In actual consideration, it was one hundred percent less than what I walked away from as my expenses in the first couple of years were more than my contract fee. I was running my race, and this just didn’t matter.

I had some OJT (not that I consider this a job) learning to do. My call to pastor this body did not include the implied task of funding the missions and outreach of this body. Over the years I let many expenses migrate to their rightful place, the budget that reflects the priorities of this body. Today, I submit about three-fourths of what should be church expense as church expense. There is still joy in giving beyond the tithe.

I had some learning to do in the area of the tithe as well. For the first couple of years, I continued my tithe at my previous income level.  I still made ends meet in the Spence household but did not have the same peace as before when I tithed at my actual income level.

I did not hear an out-loud voice, but it was just as audible. Tom, I didn’t call you to singlehandedly fund the work of this body. If we go through this a third time, I’m renaming you Peter, not the Rock but Peter, Dumb as a Rock.

Lesson learned. After I returned to my tithe, my overall giving went up—a lot, not all of it here. My joy level spiked.

Over the years I have received increases and decreases but never asked for a raise. Never!

I have asked the elders to do what they said they would do at my ordination and installation: Review the pastor’s compensation annually.

Understand this—that was not a request for a raise disguised as a reminder to the elders of this congregation to let their yes be yes, and their no be no.  It was a genuine request for the elders to do what they said they would do.

What were (and are still) the three most likely outcomes? This one is a no-brainer, unless you set aside the sound mind that God gave you.

1.      Change nothing.

2.      Increase.

3.      Decrease.

There could be variations, but these are the primes.

Over the years, I have asked at least three times to begin the budgeting process two months, sometimes three months, prior to the elder retreat. Phil has always been prompt to say that we don’t need to do this.

When the retreat (and associated budgeting came), Phil  pressed to move past the promised review without discussion. When times were good, this was as prevalent as when they seemed tight. We have gone through a couple budget cycles where fear, not facts prevailed.

This was followed on more than one occasion by a Delpdown. The pinnacle of financial Delpdowns was the one highlighted by the words, “How much is enough?”

That’s the ad hominem fallacy added to the gaslighting.  While I don’t believe that I owe Phil an answer so long as he holds on to the yoke of Satan (see Delpdown Summary), you deserve one.

I do not have an upward limit. If I am trusted with something more, I am ready to put it to work at once. Anything less belies the lessons of my favorite parable from the Lord.

I have never asked for a raise but know what to do when I get one.

I did ask that the session consider consideration (yes, that is a viable subject-verb-object sentence) in the form of reducing the Sundays required by my contract. This was the most disappointed I have ever been with the session as a whole. The session approved my request with little discussion.

What I proffered was logical, fair, and presented clearly, but no one said, “That’s too many Sundays away.” In that moment, I knew that money, not mission, governed the hearts and minds of this governing body.

God sees the heart, but I have sufficient insight and analytical skills to assess it by the fruit it produces. I am within two standard deviations in my assessments thus far.

I took the Sundays. Up to that point, I had planned my time away willing to rush to my destination or from it. After that, I took the rushing part out. My passion for this ministry was not lessened, but my self-care logistics were much better. The message was clear. It’s all about the money.

This prompted another Delpdown. I came back from a trip that I had planned shortly after the agreement to decrease my Sundays in the pulpit. It had been posted on the planning dates for about 18 months.

Phil came to me in meltdown mode, saying he reads everything I send him and that nobody knew what was going on.

That statement alone should have created dissonance in his mind. I was a little taken aback by those thoughts and how he was transferring them to me.

I gave myself a gold star in that moment for not saying that we need to elect leaders from the body of Christ to be ordained and serve as elders with the pastor in the leadership of the congregation.  The meltdown level was already far beyond the actual situation.

Phil told me that he wanted to talk about me making too much with the session. We did.

In the course of that discussion, you witnessed some terseness from me. Why?

You know the words.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

How do you fight this?  With the truth.  You may have noticed that I interrupted Phil multiple times. Whether it seemed a significant point or just syntax, I stopped him at every fallacy until his attack was reworded.

It doesn’t matter if the enemy attacks with bullets or blashphemy, my job is to repel his attack before it gets within friendly lines.  The enemy didn’t have to penetrate our lines. He entered through one whom we thought was a fellow warrior for the Lord.

I was terse, not unfair. I was assertive, not aggressive. I was not at war with the man who was once my friend, and I hoped would be forever. I was fighting a servant (perhaps unaware) sent by Satan.

The truth, not logic and not emotion, was my defense.

Consider Eve and the Serpent in the Garden of Eden if Eve had just stood in the truth.

God said don’t eat of that tree.

Surley, he didn’t say that.

Yes, he did!

Truth is the best defense against dark and evil forces. End of story. Eve played along with the serpent’s game. Now, we all contend with deception.

Imagine if the response to Satan’s guile was truth given full strength. End of that attack.

Let her [truth] and falsehood grapple; who ever knew Truth put to the worse in a free and open grapple. (Couldn’t pass up a little Milton).

I was not a participant in a civil discussion between two believers seeking to serve Christ. I was fighting spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places or as part of a fifth column within the leadership of this congregation.

Jesus directed us to love our enemies, not the enemy.

Phil has criticized me before for sending out repetitive information.  I told him that elders are often as bad as everyone else in remembering what’s happening. Yes, I answer the question, “When are we doing that thing?” within my own family more than you might imagine.

I did what I do regularly.  I assessed the new information and adjusted (OODA Loop). My previous assessment was on target, but I had room to maneuver in how to address it (OODA Loop).

I reduced the report to new information as much as possible while linking the new information to previous reports and analysis when it was longer than the new brevity standard that I had self-imposed.

Phil was still upset. I changed nothing further. Restricting the flow of information among decision-makers is counterproductive at best, an opportunity for manipulation most of the time.

I am accustomed to him second-guessing me. Over the years, when I have helped someone with budgeted benevolence funds, he has asked whether it was really what we should have done.

I said that I am very willing to operate within established principles and/or parameters set by the session. When asked if we wanted to develop them during that session meeting or later, he wanted neither. Second-guessing is easy, and comfort and complacency govern his actions when service to those whom he serves is the standard.

This behavior is common today (Dunning‑Kruger effect). Those least informed and involved judge (condemn) the quickest. Phil is neither informed nor involved in the missions, outreach, benevolence, or compassionate acts of this body.

I have invited but never pressured him to be involved in the work of the church. Mine is not to condemn his low participation level in evangelism, missions, outreach, fellowship, or other corporate efforts of this body. But it can’t be the standard of our local leadership, unless you are looking for a hospice chaplain in your next pastor.

Within the traditions of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church, those called out of the body, elected, and ordained as elders were considered “Ruling Elders.”

The ordained minister of word and sacrament was considered the “Teaching Elder.”

Together, they govern/administer the proceedings of the congregation. The problem is that when the ruling elders do not have a teachable spirit, they just fill a position. It’s the whole fat, dumb, and happy model for neither serving nor growing, but holding office. God didn’t call you to be a placeholder.

Some have asked me if I am leaving because of Phil’s meltdowns. I am not. I don’t back away from a challenge.

In my estimate of how long I would be here, I estimated (and shared with the session) that sometime between the end of 2025 and the end of 2027, I would end my time in this pastorate. My most likely target was the end of 2026. I did not share that with the entire session, but to a few in casual conversation.

In response to what happened over the past couple of years, I did a Consider All Factors assessment of my end date. I decided on the end of 2025.

Delpdowns were not a factor in my decision. They made accepting my decision easier. Not having another Delpdown was an included benefit.

My assessment missed the mark. Phil stepped up his Delpdown game. I entertained a dilatory motion from him at the November meeting, hoping that we could focus on cleaning up some loose ends and the transition. I think that empowered him to seek to be even more obstructive. I had hoped that his focus would be the smooth transition from one pastor to another. Looks like the no-more-Delpdown benefit won’t kick in until next year.

My emotions prompt me to ask for your forgiveness that you are witness to what has transpired; however, that belies your calling. I won’t do that. You need to witness and assess what has transpired to effectively govern (serve) God and this congregation going forward.

I am not asking you to concur with anything I said. I ask that you have situational awareness above that of the members so as to be more effective. That means that you must know the good, bad, and ugly that others don’t.

 

I do ask that you proceed with caution in adopting Phil’s let’s wait until we meet to talk about anything. Almost 50 years ago, I embraced the concurrent and parallel planning model as necessary to keep pace with the leadership demands of that time. Even then, the stovepipe model was obsolete in all things except those requiring the most deliberate approach (justice system). Things move much faster now.

I understand his desire to move things at a pace that no longer exists. I get that.

Slowing or stopping information flow to subsidize the comfort of complacency must have no purchase in this body's leadership.

Much of what I send out is informational and requires no immediate action. We act between meetings or see things overcome by events. If we do this too much, we become reactive.

If this was the local Rod and Gun Club, it wouldn’t matter, but you have been entrusted with the leadership of this small part of the body of Christ. A couple of hours a month won’t do the trick.

The reactive model misses opportunities, prolongs a process unnecessarily, and either ignores issues or makes death-by-6-hour meeting a standard practice.

Here is the fallacy of having to slow down and stovepipe everything just so we can talk about it in a sit-down meeting.  I have never asked the session not to talk about something during the more than 700 hours each month that we are not in a session meeting.

I would hope that the health and welfare of this body is always on your hearts and minds and that ongoing conversations are the natural follow-on to worship, education, meetings, and anything else in the life of this body.

Were we prone to factions. I might be more guarded in this area, but thus far my experience here as pastor and elder notes that these are the exception.

Here is the thing about advance sheets, emails, and other before the meeting items. They get us through the usual suspects that precede any creativity, quality analysis, or things otherwise counterproductive before we meet.

For those who were present and remember, I included my experience on the board at the Children’s Home/Youth and Family Services as a prompt to the congregation not to wait for the organizations of the CPC to decide when the Lord himself has commanded or commissioned us to do the thing (love, reach out, share, proclaim…).

I labeled the model of this board as Fat, Dumb, and Happy. Passive and reactive would have been less colloquial, but you are accustomed to the figurative language of the pastor you have endured for years.

Passionate and proactive are the qualities that I hope you embrace.

 

Phil can gaslight me to his heart’s content and I will be no worse for it. Yes, I did the Hanlon’s Razor drill to make sure that I was not misreading laziness as gaslighting. It is the latter. I have lived in a glass house for years. Cheap shots from those not in the arena do not deter me. My family knows that is the cost of doing business when they belong to a man who has embraced two major callings over the years.

What you must not let Phil do is persuade you to adopt the wholly reactive mode. You were called, elected, and ordained as elders for so much more.

Imagine a fireman saying if their house is on fire, they can come get some water.

Imagine the policeman saying if someone is robbing your house, they can bring the thief down to the station.

Imagine being commissioned to take the gospel—life—to the world and saying, if they want words of life, then they can come ask.

Imagine saying, if the need or request doesn’t fit into my two hours a month window, it’s not happening. Okay, you don’t have to imagine that one.

The term ruling elder is a tradition from a time when leading and serving were not as far apart as they seem today. Don’t surrender to the thinking that our titles exempt us from service. If anything, we must model service.

Jesus washed feet.

I hope that you don’t view this as self-vindication or preening.

I’m not asking for your compassion or sympathy. This whole God’s grace is enough and no weapon formed against me shall prevail is enough for me.

I’m not asking you to take sides.

I’m not even asking you to set aside your existing paradigms and life navigation tools and concur in everything I say. If those lenses include Tom’s just a nutcase, too serious about small stuff, or he’s the one with the skewed perspective that we need to keep an eye on; this synopsis is not intended to change that.

I’m asking you to consider all factors as you move forward.

I’m asking you to be in constant communication with God and be led by his Spirit in this difficult matter.

I believe you know the Shepherd’s voice. Hear what he says and act.  Do what the Spirit leads you to do.

Gaslighting does not belong in Christian leadership.

 

Mars Men is a SCAM!.

 

Sometimes a product doesn’t work as expected. I get that.

Sometimes it just doesn’t work for an individual or groups of individuals. I get that.

I tried the product because of the guarantee that after 90 days if I was not satisfied, I would get a complete refund. That was a lie.

THAT WAS A LIE!

As I approached the end of my first month’s use, I contacted Mars Men and advised them that the product wasn’t doing anything for me and was skeptical about continuing. It was as adiaphorous as they get.

Mars Men assured me that staying the 90-day course was the best course of action, and that they would refund me “no questions asked” if it still did not work.

THAT WAS A LIE!

Even after I cancelled and requested a refund, Mars Men billed me for yet another month. I contacted my credit card company and they reversed that charge.

That prompted Mars Men to contact me asking me to cancel what the credit card company had done to reverse the charges because life is tough for a growing business. They said they would send me a voluntary refund. They balked at honoring the 90-day promise and thought I was gullible enough to fall for this scam as well with billing me one more time after I cancelled.

Life is tough for a growing business. It’s tougher when you are stupid and have no integrity. If you are true to your word, there are few, perhaps no integrity issues and you don’t have to sing Poor, Poor Pitiful Me when you screw the pooch and charge your customer after he has cancelled.

I hope that the product works for some people. I’m not saying it won’t but be advised this is a LET THE BUYER BEWARE venture for sure. I will eventually get my money back. The fraudulent claims have been filed.  It would have been simpler if Mars Men had just honored their promise, but I will recover my losses.

For the one tempted to try the product, be ready to assume all risk or fight to get your money back if it doesn’t work for you.

Let the buyer beware. There is no truth in advertising at Mars Men.

 

Mars Men was given an opportunity to comment prior to publication. They have to bump this up to the control team. Sounds familiar. I’m not holding my breath for a reply.

***

Even after an extended dialogue with Mars Men, over a week later they continue new marketing with the same deception.

And if you were wondering about the asterisk, it has nothing to do with the fraudulent guarantee.

***

And yet another week later, Mars Men is sending out new adds with the old, false promise. 

***

On 17 August 2026, I received an ad from Mars Men without the 90-day money back guarantee. They changed their tactics while preserving the deception. Now they say you should see results in about 15 days as opposed to 90 days. The product is apparently unchanged, but their deception has. Same product. Differet promises.

If this is true, why then did they tell me to stick it out at the 25-day mark and do the full 90 days? That should be a rhetorical question, but I will answer it anyway. It is a scam. It is fraud. 

Apparently, they know they were caught red handed too many times in their money-back lie and they needed a bold promise of performance without backing up their words with a guarantee. Scammers!

LET THE BUYER BEWARE.

September 2026 Update

Mars is back to their old scam of money-back guarantee.

Steer Clear of Wyndham

 

On Thursday, 11 December 2025, I and my wife were returning from a 10-day cruise ported out of Galveston, Texas. It’s a good drive home but Wichita Falls seemed like a good stopping point.  I could get a little rest, a little middle of the night work online, while my wife used the roll in shower and got some sleep.

My check-in was tolerable. The word welcome was never used, but I did cheer up the young lady at the desk and perhaps got her through whatever was weighting her down.

I caught a couple hours then went to the front desk, not expecting to interrupt any check-ins. I noted the WIFI problem in general terms to the clerk now on duty and she replied “meh” and that was it.

I said, “Ok, then if I’m not getting WIFI access, I’m just going to grab a soft drink and sit in here for a moment to reframe my work plan. I asked where the machines were. She eventually told me where the vending machine was. I think the fact that I had not gone away after her indifference to my WIFI issue upset her and I was supposed to go find signs and read them.

I came back into the lobby and proceeded into the breakfast area. There was a sign that said it was closed. The young woman made no preemptory comment when I told her my plan to get a soft drink and sit in that area, until I sat in that area. I had violated the authority of the sign that said breakfast was closed and promptly complied by moving into the lighted lobby where there were no signs. I had barely seated myself when the clerk admonished me for sitting in the lobby. It’s closed! You can’t sit there. I can ban you from this hotel for 2 years. Wow!

I got this hotel at a good, off-season rate (not on the Wyndham app), and had to wonder why run your guests off if you have to offer a low rate just to get them here?

The logical fallacies abounded, but who puts a check-in desk in a closed lobby? I knew not to engage this young lady enjoying her power trip, but I am also not tolerant of blatant disrespect or for being blamed for another person’s bad attitude. I have been gaslighted before.

The civil thing to do to resolve this fabricated violation of my many wrongs was to speak to the manager. I knew it was the middle of the night when I asked for the number. She made the point of reminding me.  I served as a Marine Infantry officer for 20 years, a pastor for 18, and a newspaper executive for another 5. Nobody forced me to those callings and assignments. If you take the job where people stay overnight, work at night, or where problems may arise at night, then being available as a manager during the night is just part of the duty.

The young lady on a power trip gave me her manager’s card. It rang at the front desk. She got an extended laugh out of that. At least Wyndham gets some amusement from those they suckered into their system.

When I found out that the manager number was a ploy, I asked the lady to call the police. She was shocked. She couldn’t figure out why.

She called her manager and started talking as if she was on the run from a dozen thugs with chains. She would step near her station and then dart away behind a petition, then repeat. I think she was playing to the cameras she said were running. I hope they were.

I’m wondering if her manager was thinking the National Guard might be needed as the panicked voice continued.  Remember, this voice kicked in when I said it was time to call the police.

Her description of me opened my eyes to racial profiling. I have been profiled before. As one of ten lighter skinned people in western Kena around Langas/Eldoret—about 6 million people—I saw father’s pointing at me.  I was white and you just don’t see too many white folks in those parts. Being a father, I would have done the same and pointed out the unique to my son had roles been reversed.

The African people were not hateful. I was an enigma. I got it. Roles reversed, I can’t say I would do much different.

The people at the Baymont (I’m including the unseen manager) were up to no good. I don’t know what. Their objectives are obscure when the I can have you removed from the hotel was among the first things the clerk said after I reported the WIFI not working. I wasn’t going to let this pitiful scam affect me. This young lady got excited when I asked for the police.

She did ask me to leave and the police said that she could do that. The police were professional and followed the law. We packed and left at zero dark thirty.

I get it. Some people are pissed at the world and even more upset at white people. I addressed this with Geoffrey A. Ballotti, the Wyndham CEO. I knew that the hotels were their own entity but still under the Wyndham brand. I also expected that a senior executive, not Ballotti, would get back with me.

 

I didn’t ask for a refund or threaten to sue the hotel and Wyndham for racial profiling. I simply ask Mr. Ballotti, whom I now call No Balls Ballotti, to say this was not the Wyndham way.  Apparently, it is. The Wyndham response was pitiful and leaves me to believe that racial profiling is desirable among Wyndham executives and employees.

 

My previous experience with Wyndham properties was average. They have earned top honors in the bottom of the barrel category.

 

STEER CLEAR OF WYNDHAM!

An Attaboy to Hilton and a referral offer for you

 

Every credit card has its perks these days. Some are points for cashback or to go towards something else. I thought that I had found the best that I could, that is with no annual fee, until I came upon an offer from Hilton.

I don’t pay interest on credit cards because I use them as if they were cash or a check. If the money is not in my banking account, I don’t use the card. Card companies make plenty via their transaction fees, but they are not making any money on interest from me.

That’s the long way of saying; the interest rate is not what is important to me because I don’t carry a statement balance beyond the due date. I can’t say how this card compares to others as far as the APR goes. If the APR is important, you probably don’t need another card. That may be harsh, but appropriate: Don’t do debt.

But if you want to leverage what money you have via a card, this one has bonuses that I realized before my first statement was ready. That got my attention, considering with other cards I waited weeks, sometimes months for the perks to post.

If you travel, it’s worth consideration.  By offering this referral link, we both get something. You get the big bonus, but I get a small one as well.

That said, Hilton gets an attaboy today!

 

Link posted below as well.

 

https://americanexpress.com/en-us/referral/hilton-honors?ref=THOMASQAeD&XL=MIZNS

BLUECHEW IS A SCAM!

 Pushing 70 and thought I would try the BlueChew Cialis. I had tried Viagra and Cialis before. The Cialis was reasonably effective. The Viagra, much less so.

 It was now time to try Cialis with greater frequency.

The BlueChew ads looked legit, but they are a SCAM!

I say it again: BLUECHEW IS A SCAM!

I ordered Cialis and they sent me an email stating they were sending Viagra. I told them I didn’t order Viagra, but they said it’s on it’s way and there is nothing they could do about it.

That’s obviously a lie. IT IS A LIE!

I order over $1000 online from various vendors. There were multiple course of action available.  At this point, I suspected that the legit—looking website was just the scammers getting better.

After multiple exchanges with the scammers sticking to the “we can’t do anything line” it became obvious that the business was not legit.

One of the responses told me that I could cancel future orders by going on the website. I DON’T HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION to something that I didn’t order.

Had BlueChew delivered what was purchased, they might have had a subscriber. The dosage, frequency, and price were acceptable.

But they botched the order and stand by their incompetence.

My instinct is to say, unbelievable, but I have seen plenty of scammers in my time and believe it.

Instead, I say: LET THE BUYER BEWARE!.

 

BLUECHEW IS A SCAM!

 

Finding a reputable company for what I wanted didn’t take much longer. There are companies trying to do legitimate business.  BlueChew does not number among them.

 

FAFO